Contradiction
by mirrorsound
Summary: Memories are fragile. They can't be erased—the past is the past, permanently imprinted in a person's personality and beliefs. But they can be altered. Fabricated. Masked. And, without some memories… pain can't exist. That's why I do it. That's the only reason I do it. He deserves better than this.


**The whole point of this fanfic is to be confusing. Plot contradictions were my inspiration for this.**

**This story might seem a little strange at first, but it'll gradually make sense. A lot of the events are implied rather than explicitly stated, so if you want me to explain something, you can always leave a review or message me. ^^**

**Also, the final chapter for Blue Bicycle is almost done, if anyone clicked on this wondering. I just recently saved it in a password-protected folder... and forgot the password... (convenient, right?) It was 17,000 words that I'm NOT going to retype all that, so I'm waiting for a password-cracking software to recover it. Which will take a while.**

**Oh, and I was sort of experimenting with the POV in this oneshot. Shifts from third person to first person are _intentional_. First-person Rin and third-person Rin are two different people. Sort of. **

* * *

Memories are fragile.

They can't be erased—the past is the past, permanently imprinted in a person's personality and beliefs. But they can be altered. Fabricated. Masked.

And, without some memories… pain can't exist.

That's why I do it. That's the only reason I do it.

He deserves better than this.

* * *

"Hey, mom. Hey dad." He ran his fingers through his blond bed-head, a carefree yawn ripping from his lips.

"Good morning, Len," his mother smiled tenderly, sliding a syrup-sopped plate of pancakes as he seated himself at the table.

His father looked up from the morning paper and ruffles his son's messy bangs. "Hey there, squirt. I bought two tickets for the basketball game tonight, would you like to join me?"

Len's eyes twinkled at the suggestion. "Of course!"

"No ticket for me? How inconsiderate." A girl clothed in a pink nightgown and bunny slippers slid into the chair beside Len. The two teenagers' similarities were striking; with sandy hair and sky eyes, they were living Monets.

The father chuckled. "If Rin comes along she'll fall asleep and miss the whole thing."

She rolled her eyes and blew a strand of hair from her face. "Yeah, whatever."

"Hurry up you two, or you'll be late for school. It's already 7:10," the mother chided, inducing a state of frenzied pancake-mouthfuls among her children.

"But what if we don't want to go?" Len frowned, casting a concerned glance at me.

* * *

Len pushed the front door open, breathing in his house's familiar scent of citrus air-freshener. His dad entered behind him, rambling about how well the game went and his favorite players' new statistics.

The second I saw them I leapt up, after waiting anxiously on the living room sofa for hours straight. "So, what did the doctor say?"

Len turned a smiling face in Rin's direction. "Our team won! You should have seen it," he spun around and faked a basketball shoot in the air. "There was a game-winning slam dunk by Kaito Shion!"

I smiled in response, attempting to keep a straight face. "Oh… okay." I watched in silence as crystalline tears streaked his face.

* * *

I pushed through the crowded hallways, a book folded over my face, trying to avoid _them_. Unfortunately, books were great for vision-impairment, even more so than disguises. I rammed into someone's stomach, and the two of us tumbled to the ground.

"S-sorry, I didn't see you," I mumbled in apology, instantly groping around the floor for the book I lost. I couldn't let them find me, after I managed to escape…

Just as my hand rested on the book's cover, another palm pinned mine down. "Rin?" I froze in fear, recognizing the voice—and the huge mistake I had made.

I lifted my eyes to find Len staring at me in shock. He reached for my eye and brushed his fingertips across the raw flesh, sending waves of pain through my skin. "You're… you're bruised," he murmured. "Why?"

I tugged the book away from his grasp with both hands and hastily stood up. "It's not important—"

He stood and gripped my shoulders as I tried to move away. "Did someone do this to you?" When I didn't respond his expression morphed into one of anger, though I knew it wasn't directed at me. "Who was it? Tell me who did this to you!"

Rin darted to a standing position, reaching out a hand to help Len up. "Sorry about that—I wasn't looking where I was going."

Len smiled and accepted her hand. "It's alright. Here, you dropped this." He held out the book she had dropped, and she took it without uttering more than a thanks.

* * *

Miku smirked at Len, a pair of stilettos dangling in one hand. "Race you to the tree."

Len grinned back. "You're on. Ready, set… go!"

The two dashed off, the night breeze streaming through their hair and dewy blades of grass pressing beneath their feet. "Ha! I win!" Len gloated, slapping the tree bark and gasping to fill his oxygen-starved lungs.

Miku pouted in response. "No." She reached out and tangled her fingers in his unruly hair, drawing his warm lips to hers. After a minute she slipped away, leaving Len with bright cheeks and gaping mouth. "I win."

"Y-yeah, you sure do."

"Oh, sit down, you adorable idiot." She yanked his tie and they both fell to the ground, staring up at the blanket of stars sprawled across the sky. "I'm glad we got out of there. My house isn't big enough to have a party with all those people."

Len rolled his eyes. "Then don't invite so many."

"Hey, I'd feel bad if I left anyone out!" Miku smiled and grasped his hand. "It's nice, spending time with you. I wish it could last forever."

He hesitated.

The three words he never actually said. The words he wished he told her.

"I love you."

* * *

I stared at the note in my hand, blinking away tears. "No…" I whispered. "No, she didn't deserve this…"

…_Killed_… by a drunk driver… just two weeks after her sixteenth birthday…

Len couldn't see. I wouldn't let him.

"Hey, what's that?" Before she could react, Len reached across Rin's school desk, tearing the note from her hand. "Passing notes, huh? Let's see who Rinny's crush is~"

"It's not about that. It's what Gumi heard about Miku."

He frowned as his eyes scanned the wad of paper. "She moved? Strange… she never mentioned that before…"

* * *

I lay crumpled on the floor at the foot of my bed, restraining the tears that threatened to spill over.

It didn't matter what everyone said… just because I had this… _ability_, it didn't mean I was delusional. I wasn't psychotic. _I wasn't._ If no one else believed me, then that was their problem.

…Right?

I stared at the ripped flesh on my palms and reached up to touch the numerous gashes on my face. _They_ had made them… all these injuries were from them. My tormentors, my classmates, my foster parents…

It was getting to be too much…

I couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears pooled from my eyes, and I pressed my face into the bed sheets, muffling the sobs that escaped in harsh convulsions.

I was so absorbed in my own self-pity that I didn't notice Len until it was too late. He wrapped a gentle arm around my shoulders, kneeling at the bed beside me. "Rin, why are you crying?" he whispered, an edge of worry apparent in his tone.

I lifted my face from the blanket and turned to meet him in the eyes, causing his to widened. "Where-where did you get those wounds?" Len demanded, running his eyes over every inch of my face.

"It doesn't matter," I whispered.

"Of course it matters!" His voice was trembling. "How did you get all these so suddenly? Some of these look weeks old, but I don't remember seeing them even yesterday…" Then it hit him. "Oh…"

I tried to pull away, but he yanked me closer in a firm hug. "No. Rin, please don't use your power. You promised. You promised me."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I'd already let him see too much. I allowed myself to remain in his embrace a moment longer, enjoying the kindness only he ever showed me, before reaching deep within my energy reserves to build new memories.

"No."

It wasn't working. For some reason I couldn't access his memories—there was an impenetrable wall blocking my ability.

"No," he repeated, pressing me closer to his chest. "Rin, I won't let you. I can't forget about this. I can't let the person I love most be hurt like this without me knowing. I won't let you take my memory away. I won't."

…But… he deserved to be happy… after all, his cancer…

I'd just be getting in the way. If he refused to have memories of his twin sister stripped from him, then… the only way to get rid of them was to destroy his memory of a twin sister.

I closed my eyes.

Rin Kagamine no longer existed.

* * *

She smiled as she watched Len from the back of the classroom, laughing with his friends.

It was the only way. The only way to ease all the pain he was experiencing.

In real life he was sitting quietly in his chair, trying not to cry at my failing attempts to cheer him up. His eyes were glossy and vacant, his entire existence a hallow shell.

But in his memories, he was happy. And though it wasn't a real existence—to him it was. It was the best I could do.

Rin still existed. For the sake of being able to monitor his memories, she existed. But he didn't recognize her. He couldn't recognize her.

So why was his gaze constantly falling on her?

* * *

Len entered the apartment, the acrid cigarette-alcohol scent wafting to his nose.

His foster mom barely batted an eyelash as he walked passed. "Heeey, Len, do us a favor and buy us some liquor for tonight."

"Yes, Miss Sakine," he mumbled.

"Hey, Len, would you like to try some of the cookies I baked?" His mother flashed him a sweet smile and Len smiled back, reaching for a chocolate chip cookie on the pan she held out to him.

"Thanks, mom, you're the best."

She smiled in response. "No problem. Hey, how did you do on the math test?"

"Three months," he answered, staring at his feet, refusing to look up.

"Okay. Now, don't stay up too late, honey," she called after him as he trudged up the stairs to his room, settling down on the single bed that lay in the corner.

While munching on his cookies, Len directed his attention to the opposite end of the room. Staring. Where Rin's bed used to be.

* * *

Rin tailed a couple steps behind him, keeping to the shadows as he trekked home after another day at school. She wasn't prepared when he halted in his tracks, turning to meet her identical azure eyes.

"Why are you following me?" he asked bluntly.

She didn't respond. Instead she turned to walk in the opposite direction, but he chased after her and managed to hook his arm in her elbow. "Who are you?"

"A classmate."

"No." He frowned, dragging her out of the city alleyway and onto the vacant town square. "I would remember. I would remember your name, then. Why can't I? What's your name?"

I tore my arm from his grip. "I told you, it doesn't matter."

His knuckles were white splotches as his hold on her arm tightened. "Why do I feel this way for you? It's not something strange like a crush, it's… different, like I've known you my whole life." He stepped in closer, tone growing desperate. "Who are you? Why do I miss you this much?"

He reached out and touched the side of my neck, pulling away and staring wide-eyed at the blood coating his fingers. "I'm worried about you," he whispered.

"Don't be." I took a step backward before running away in the opposite direction, eventually losing you through a grocery store as you attempted to give chase.

"Don't worry about me… just try to enjoy yourself…"

* * *

Rin pushed the cart through the east wing of Crypton Hospital, eventually pulling aside and silently slipping into the room of a familiar blond patient. The pungent smell of antiseptic hit her squarely in the nose, and she tried to mask her sneeze from the sleeping patient. It didn't work.

Len shuffled beneath the covers and cracked open an eyelid, bolting upright when he noticed the intruder.

"Do you know when I'm getting out of here?" He ran his hand absently over the pale cast hugging his arm. "A broken arm shouldn't require a hospital stay this long, should it?"

She pulled out a clipboard, running her finger over the penciled-in names. "Len Kagamine… your parents don't feel you should be released, yet, that's all."

He frowned, eyebrows furrowing. "Hold on, I know you from somewhere."

Rin stepped over to the window and pulled back the curtain, allowing rays of sunlight to permeate the room. "Would you like me to bring you anything?" she began, disregarding his comment. "Like a blanket, or a drink of water—"

"You look familiar." The boy ignored Rin's question, frowning and scanning her from head to toe with a penetrating stare. "You're her. That girl who's always watching me. Who are you?"

Rin adjusted the nurse's cap on her head and turned to her cart, lifting an extra bed cover from its shelf. "I don't know what you mean—"

"I see you," he cut in. "You're everywhere. In the shadows. Like a stalker… but not. Why?"

His question was met with silence.

"I should remember you, shouldn't I?" he whispered after a while. "Please, tell me how to remember. This life is wrong. It doesn't make sense—things just don't add up. You have something to do with it, I know you do. Please just tell me. I have a right to know."

She spread the blanket over his bed as he squirmed to a sitting position. "Do you really want to know?" she whispered, voice barely audible.

"Yes!"

"Then you can remember. If you try hard enough, if you really want to remember, then you'll recognize me."

"But I don't! I can't!"

She held his hand in hers and sat at his bedside. "Yes, you can."

His eyes met mine, widening in shock as realization spread across his features. "You're… you're my twin, aren't you? Why-why…"

Rin's skin shimmered like a mirage, then the sleeves of the coarse nurse's blouse faded from my arms and the smooth, pearly skin dissolved, leaving my coarse, bruised hands folded in his.

"People… people hurt you. Who hurts you?"

One by one the cards resting on his night table vanished.

"Of course… our classmates… they think you're crazy. They don't believe in your power… your power to… you're using it right now, aren't you? You're using it on me?"

The image of our surroundings flickered once, then twice.

His lips wavered. "How much of this life is a lie? M-miku, she didn't actually move… We don't actually live with our parents, either. They gave you up because they thought you were psycho… then kicked me out, too, because they didn't want to pay when they found out… found out that I… I…"

The sunny hospital room blinked once more before giving way to a darker, cluttered atmosphere. The cast on his shoulder vanished, replaced by the low humming of life-support systems.

His voice was parched, fragile, and the bags beneath his eyes darkened tenfold. "I… I'm dying, aren't I?"

I leaned in and gathered his frail form in my arms, pressing his head to my shoulder. "Yes… I'm so sorry."

I felt the hot tears as they dripped from his eyes and absorbed in my shirt. "It hurts…" he whispered.

"I know."

"Make it stop." He was trembling. "Please… it hurts… make it stop."

"I can make you happy again," I whispered. "I can rewrite this memory, if you want. I can make you forget. Would you like that?"

He was silent, his shallow breaths hissing from his mouth, resonating in my ear. I could feel his strength fading. Each second he was growing weaker.

He didn't have much longer.

"…Yes."

* * *

**(I'd recommend re-reading the first part when you're done, btw. You might notice things you hadn't the first time.)**

**In case you aren't sure...  
-Rin's "power" is taking other people's memories and altering them. She _can't_ erase them.  
-Rin isn't crazy. Most of the narration is actually the way Len percieves his memories—it's written in Rin's POV because she can access them through her ability.  
-"Real life" refers to what is actually happening in Len's life, without Rin's memory-medling. It's a parallel life, I guess, sort of like time streams in Doctor Who. ;)  
****-Each scene has two sides to it—what's happening in real life, and the situations Rin's creating to cover Len's memories with. Sometimes she doesn't cover the memories completely, hence breaks in POV, action repeats, and contradictions. Cue confusion.  
****-Everything in first person occurs in real life. Because Len is referred to as third person either way, it might be more difficult to distinguish what's happening with him. Look for contradictions.  
-Len's dying of cancer. When his mother mentions a math test, his answer of "three months" refers to test results done by a doctor. Rin covered it up.  
-Maybe I'm making this too complicated. Hopefully the story makes sense.  
**

******Now, back to AP studying~ *sigh***

**This is a oneshot and I'm not expecting it to get many reviews, so if you leave a review saying what you thought of it, or even just letting me know that you read it, it would mean a lot to me. :)**

*Edited 5/3/14 - fixed a couple typos and tense errors*


End file.
